← Flat Giraffers

i think giraffes actually aren't real.

Flat Giraffers
windowseat
864points

i have been thinking about this since yesterday and nobody has given me an answer that isn't just a picture of a giraffe.

the head is too far from the rest of it. you can make the legs longer or the neck longer but doing both is excessive. then somebody has added the little knobs. why the knobs. they don't do anything.

every picture that is supposed to prove a giraffe exists was taken by someone who went somewhere specifically to see a giraffe. that is not an independent sample. i have never found one accidentally. horses appear in places. a horse will be standing in a field you weren't expecting. all giraffes have an appointment.

also look at how they drink. that cannot be the approved way to drink. if i sold you something that needed to stand like that to reach water you would send it back.

i'm not saying they're people in suits. i don't think there is enough space. i'm saying we have accepted a drawing of an animal and then built a whole set of places where you are allowed to look at the drawing.

please stop sending me the same video. the video has a fence in it.

12 comments
mothproof
Collapse or expand reply by mothproof

You have ruled out every possible observation before asking for observations. An animal doesn't become imaginary because somebody put a fence around it.

303points
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windowseat
Collapse or expand reply by windowseat

the fence matters because somebody is controlling where you stand. nobody lets you look at the back.

71points
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mudlark
Collapse or expand reply by mudlark

I have seen the animal from behind. You still have to specify what would count as a clear view.

144points
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teaspoon
Collapse or expand reply by teaspoon

The drinking position is the part I cannot stop looking at. Why do the front legs have to go that far apart?

96points
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mudlark
Collapse or expand reply by mudlark

Ducks manage to drink with their heads down as well. Why would that be impossible?

85points
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windowseat
Collapse or expand reply by windowseat

ducks are quite a lot closer to the ground. i am asking about the amount of animal above the ground.

12points
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mothproof
Collapse or expand reply by mothproof

You started with distance from the head and you've moved to height from the ground. Which measurement would let you change your mind?

58points
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windowseat
Collapse or expand reply by windowseat

one in the car park would help. no ticket booth.

9points
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teaspoon
Collapse or expand reply by teaspoon

The little knobs could be protective, or something else. I have never seen a proper explanation of what they do.

44points
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mothproof
Collapse or expand reply by mothproof

They are called ossicones. Naming them is not an explanation of their use.

39points
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mudlark
Collapse or expand reply by mudlark

Did anyone ever get the view from behind? The replies keep going back to the front.

24points
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teaspoon
Collapse or expand reply by teaspoon

Someone has found that old Expose Giraffes site again. New thread here. I remembered this post first, then spent half an hour trying to find a bookmark in a browser I no longer have.

4points
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