EXPOSE
GIRAFFES✳
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Independent research into the existence of the giraffe

THE GIRAFFE IS A FABRICATION.

The published findings. The unresolved questions.

Read the investigation
A pale adult giraffe and calf at dusk, with dark thicket to the left.
Flat Giraffersanybody still here from the old threads?
teaspoon

7 comments

Found this in my bookmarks again. Does anyone still have the old photograph where they're working on the giraffe? I used to send that one to people and now I only have a very small copy.

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windowseat
Collapse or expand reply by windowseat

I still have the photograph with the loose covering saved. Never found where my copy came from.

39points
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mudlark
Collapse or expand reply by mudlark

People are still replying. Not as many names I recognise though.

28points
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vellum
Collapse or expand reply by vellum

There is a later announcement from the same paper as well. Someone linked both in Paper Trails.

18points
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ribbedglass
Collapse or expand reply by ribbedglass

I came back because the neck argument was still bothering me. I know how that sounds.

12points
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halfstep
Collapse or expand reply by halfstep

I thought Voss was an old username until I actually opened the circus paper.

3points
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A giraffe watches over a zebra herd at a dusty watering hole at dawn.
Above the herd. A vantage point that the other animals do not possess.

The surveillance question

BIG BROTHER.

The visual vantage point of the giraffes height has allowed its modern application into the mass surveillance program of modern governments. Although our research suggests no initial intent, the spread of fake giraffes into zoos has allowed for even the most unassuming environments to be spied upon.

Read Big Brother
Big Zoothe height is doing two jobs
sidechannel

6 comments

wrenched
Collapse or expand reply by wrenched

Every reply says a normal camera would be easier. A normal camera also looks like a camera.

9points
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cansleeve
Collapse or expand reply by cansleeve

A camera that turns its whole neck would be conspicuous. Unless people had already decided that turning a neck was normal.

7points
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flatlander
Collapse or expand reply by flatlander

It would not need to record everything. Knowing who stops and who comes back could be useful on its own.

15points
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moth
Collapse or expand reply by moth

Tall enough to look at us over whatever fence they put around it.

5points
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marl
Collapse or expand reply by marl

A high place where equipment could fit is not evidence that equipment is there.

4points
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sidechannel
Collapse or expand reply by sidechannel

I said it was a good place. The fact people like looking up at it is part of the opportunity.

12points
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Original Anonymous recording: a hooded masked speaker before a blue backdrop.

A MESSAGE FROM ANONYMOUS

Learn yourself the wisdom and contribute your findings. This message was sent to us through an encrypted server by members of the hacker group, Anonymous.

Open the recordings
An adult okapi and calf in a damp forest clearing, showing their striped legs.
An okapi and calf. The striped legs are visible on both.

The changing design

LOOK AT THE STRIPES.

Early models of the giraffe lie relied on more accessible hides from zebras and horses as the records suggest. Over time, the poaching industry around cheetahs spiked, creating a cheaper abundance of this style of fur around the same time as mass production of artificial furs, creating the modern cheetah fur design.

Designs over time
An ostrich with its long neck disappearing into a hole in the sand.
The ostrich comparison used in the investigation.

The physiological dilemma

THE NECK IS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM.

Species such as the ostrich front a similar neck physiology and use their neck to hide within the sand, yet the hasty fabrication of giraffes neglected to include this behavior, creating an inconsistency with nature itself.

Read the physiological dilemma
Workmen fit a spotted covering over a giraffe-shaped exhibition frame.
Workmen fit the covering of a giraffe-shaped exhibition figure.

A photograph under discussion

WHAT WAS ON DISPLAY?

The preparation photograph shows a spotted covering being fitted over a frame. Readers are comparing it with the later announcement.

Paper Trailsanyone got the full version of this picture
vellum

8 comments

mothproof
Collapse or expand reply by mothproof

Found the page. Davenhall Chronicle, 22 June 1957. The right-hand side is there.

62points
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vellum
Collapse or expand reply by vellum

Thank you. That's the one I wanted. I've put the link with the file this time.

17points
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mudlark
Collapse or expand reply by mudlark

Looks like canvas to me. I don't think you're looking at an animal being skinned. The folds are all going in the same direction.

11points
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ribbedglass
Collapse or expand reply by ribbedglass

There are at least two printed dots in the man's sleeve. Might be a newspaper picture rather than a glossy photograph. Can you tell whether that dark strip at the bottom is type?

9points
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vellum
Collapse or expand reply by vellum

The bottom strip is part of the crop, unfortunately. Zooming just gives larger dots. I found a second copy but it was this file with more contrast.

4points
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windowseat
Collapse or expand reply by windowseat

I think it is bigger than the platform in the background makes it look. The person is standing on something. I keep trying to put the floor in the wrong place.

6points
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Collapse or expand reply by x/∷
Unintelligible, densely overprinted text.
1points
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marl
Collapse or expand reply by marl

bro needs a new computer 😂😭

1points
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The gravitational dilemma

WHAT KEEPS IT ON THE SURFACE?

A speculative flat Earth disc suspended in space, with the Moon below its plane.
The flat-world model accompanying the gravitational argument.

If we were to entertain the potentiality of the modern Flat Earth consensus, the question arises as to whether the center of gravity of a giraffe in nature would warrant a threat to its survival by natural selection through the expected pull off the surface as a result of its collective weight distribution and gravitational drag off of its surface.

Read the complete gravity claim
Flat Giraffersthe centre of gravity is the part nobody answers
wrenched

18 comments

rustred
Collapse or expand reply by rustred

People answer this with pictures of horses as though a horse has the same amount of neck above it.

48points
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metricsea
Collapse or expand reply by metricsea

You need to include the legs too. That is where most of the height comes from.

17points
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wrenched
Collapse or expand reply by wrenched

Yes. The whole thing. I am not just comparing necks.

14points
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sidechannel
Collapse or expand reply by sidechannel

The original page never says which direction the pull is supposed to be. It would help to draw it.

35points
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wrenched
Collapse or expand reply by wrenched

Off the surface. It says that in the paragraph.

24points
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nailbrush
Collapse or expand reply by nailbrush

That can mean over the edge or straight up. Those are different questions.

21points
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linen
Collapse or expand reply by linen

It says IF. You can disagree with the flat-earth part without pretending I missed the word.

19points
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sidechannel
Collapse or expand reply by sidechannel

I copied the whole paragraph. I am asking about the direction.

11points
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brickwork
Collapse or expand reply by brickwork

If it has to spread its legs to get water, I do not see why we assume it has no balance problem when it is standing.

31points
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cansleeve
Collapse or expand reply by cansleeve

Because bending down changes where its weight is.

9points
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brickwork
Collapse or expand reply by brickwork

That is the issue I am talking about.

13points
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flatlander
Collapse or expand reply by flatlander

Their problem is using gravity to explain it. The ground does not need to pull anything for an object to stay on it.

26points
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nailbrush
Collapse or expand reply by nailbrush

Then why is the height relevant?

7points
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flatlander
Collapse or expand reply by flatlander

I did not write the page. I said the explanation was wrong.

8points
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halfstep
Collapse or expand reply by halfstep

Was there an image on the old page showing where they put the weight? I remember something beside this and cannot find the same copy.

12points
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marl
Collapse or expand reply by marl

If the earth is not flat, the flat-earth part of this is not a problem a giraffe has to solve.

2points
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wrenched
Collapse or expand reply by wrenched

Fine, but that still does not explain the animal in the pictures.

4points
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marl
Collapse or expand reply by marl

It was your question about this paragraph.

1points
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Role of the State

ROLE OF THE STATE.

For most of human history it is quite expedient in retrospect to identify the vehicles by which governments misdirect public attention in the pursuit of absolution. What we desire to accomplish is to filibuster one of the core and poorly designed attempts to attain these ancient goals from what we have gathered.

Read Role of the State
A stern giraffe officer wears a charcoal military coat with bronze braid and an ivory collar.
The giraffe in uniform.

The original recordings

LISTEN TO THE TESTIMONY.

Original Oakland Zoo recording: the presenter stands before the giraffe enclosure.

PROFESSOR ELTON DIMAGGIO EXPOSES GIRAFFES

Although this video was censored by the zoo in order to allow the portrayal of the facts only in the form of satire, Professor Elton Dimaggio manages to display some of the key facts currently being considered in the larger debate into the existence of the giraffe.

Open the recordings

The published investigation

START WITH THE CLAIMS.

Read the arguments together, or follow a particular question.

Read the investigation from the beginning
Flat Girafferswhere are the group admins?
metricsea

8 comments

wrenched
Collapse or expand reply by wrenched

I asked the same thing under the gravity post. Somebody said they were using another account, but didn't say which.

8points
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metricsea
Collapse or expand reply by metricsea

Was that about linen or someone else?

6points
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teaspoon
Collapse or expand reply by teaspoon

I haven't seen linen reply for a while.

12points
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mothproof
Collapse or expand reply by mothproof

People keep mixing up moth and me. I don't have another account.

10points
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rustred
Collapse or expand reply by rustred

There are new replies every day. I thought one of them was still around.

4points
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halfstep
Collapse or expand reply by halfstep

New replies from us. That's what they're asking.

3points
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Collapse or expand reply by x/∷
is anyone still reading
0points
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teaspoon
Collapse or expand reply by teaspoon

ummm ok? you good?

1points
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